In my last
post, I promised Rat that, were I to contract the Black Death/Plague myself, I wouldn’t
use drugs. As a gift of Love, he helped me through a maze to the (cheese), this
evening. This show of Trust on his part got me thinking about whether or not I
ought now to be afraid of why I have these increasing pains in my belly. I went
to my fear to Surrender, and realized that what was actually causing me fear
was the idea that I might be in greater pain later. Having Cancer is not a part of my Dream. Pain or no pain…
no drugs!
If
Butterfly doesn’t want to be eaten, is it best to emerge stimulated by the
Light, or by the Darkness? In the light, Angel Bird ‘eats’ her; in the
Darkness, Bat does. Either way, Butterfly gets crapped out, to be compost for
the Earth.
To be
Butterfly, what kind of stimulation does Your spirit need? If it isn’t
Love/Light, it’s Fear/Black. For those in your lifedream who choose not to move on to Full consciousness, it’s
not that they’re doing anything ‘wrong’; it’s just that they’re
counterbalancing your awareness with non-awareness – you are yet the Master,
and so are they. In the Song of the Überverse, Black is (just) a different frequency.
As compared to Light, Black is the silence, the Great Mystery. You can’t hear a
song without the silent parts. It seems that there’s no light in the dark, yet
black is not a void. It’s a vacuum. It absorbs all. It contains all the colours
of the rainbow. In the union of Mother and Father, both Light and Dark are sung.
In my
lifedream, Dragons provide the power for rebirth. The one who appeared to help me
most recently was Black Dragon, with white studs around his eyes. For me, this
is the Dragon of my own shadow, Fear. I was looking for the Light outside of my
self, but not seeing it, not realizing that it is me. Black Dragon is my carbon, ready to be squeezed (I’ll talk
about ‘ignition’ later, I’m sure). I needed to look at myself, instead of
looking outside for people whose shadow powers I could help them illicit. I Know that I came here to
transmute the Blackness, the Plague as part of my emergence. But to do that, I
have to Know fear (to ‘Own my own’,
as it were), so that I can illuminate within my person-hood what it is, what it’s
frequency is.
Nightmare
come true, I’d recently experienced the most frightening days of my entire
existence. I realized though, that I wasn’t scared of what was inside/outside
of my self, but that people wouldn’t see the Love that is within Me. I wanted
so much to express it for their benefit, but to them, I just looked like
shadow. I wasn’t a cross, but a scarecrow. My catharsis came – as it Always
does – with my Surrender. Through awareness of feeling the gift of my own Guilt,
I had the epiphany that I actually wasn’t as worried about what the people in
my neighbourhood thought of me and my
behavior, but that I was more
concerned about the fact that I might be frightening them. That doesn’t feel
Good. Apparently, not everyone is comfortable
with the story about the shaman running up the street naked at
God-knows-what-time (thankfully, my angels saw to it that no one actually
noticed. Ha!).
Butterfly
is about transformation, but it’s also (hugely) about courage, the courage to
go into your own darkness. For the fact that we saw nothing when we were in our
mothers’ wombs, it makes no sense that we’re scared of what’s in shadows. From
what my Body remembers, it was a
truly Divine place to be.
Great
Mother is being reborn, as are we, as are you, as am I. I believe she’s pulling
Our fear into herself as the ‘cancer’ for Her transformation. She’s pulling us
into resonance with what we’re giving her by manifesting scenarios based on our
energetic dreams that give her the squeeze She needs, while at the same time,
helping Her to squeeze Us. The only
way to be Re born is to go into her centre. The only way to go into her centre
is through darkness. It isn’t Black at her core; it’s where her Diamond Body is.
Go through your own darkness to find yours, and Light it up. Gaia needs YOU
(your illumination). I’ve been polishing my own facets, with every manner of resistance,
realizing over and over again that I don’t even have to try… it’s an entirely natural process of just being
my self. Yes, it really is just that simple.
Recently, I’d
wanted to beat myself up for something ‘stupid’ I’d done. I’d burned something
onto the stovetop that she’d just cleaned, and thought my sister would be
angry. I considered hiding it, covering it up with a pot, even outright Lying
about it. I ‘manned up’, allowed myself to Be with the fact that there must
have been a good reason why it was that Spirit had guided me to do that. When I
confessed, my sister had been distracted with her own ‘snafu’ (~ “Situation
Normal, All F****d Up”). In helping her to solve it, it was revealed that the
tool I needed was exactly adjacent to
the spot where the tool I knew she
needed was. I’d put my hand in there how many times. Did I actually not know it was there?
My
‘stupidity’ revealed to me what an angel I know my sister to be. Noone in the
Überverse exhibited more perfect
faults for her at that moment than I.
Now, contrary
to what my fears tell me, I Believe I’m a Genius. Actually, I don’t just
believe it, I Know it. We don’t all
come here to be Stephen Hawking. We do, however, ALL come here to learn about
Love. THIS is ‘where it’s at’. This little beauty is Home, the centre of the
Überverse. Oh, I know that’s contrary
to what (someone else’s) science might want you to believe. And I won’t tell
you what to do. I can only try to communicate what works for me: get past the
fear by Owning it, and see what emerges. It’s going to be dark, and it’s going
to be a squeeze, yes, but it’s going to be healing – the more difficult the
surrender, the brighter the Diamond Light.
Stephen, I
think I’m ready for that conversation I’ve been fearing. I’m not scared that
I’m not as smart as you any more (yet I Feel that you’re infinitely smarter
than you yourself know).
Giving up
my resistance, the light that illuminates my facets is indeed, just a little
brighter.
When you
Know who YOU are, please share your story. It’s time for a new Book.
Big Medicine Love to You
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