I listened in on a webinar a while back during which I had the opportunity to participate in a divine guidance meditation for connecting to your higher self. Being more clairvoyant than clairaudient, I was a little skeptical as to whether the format would work for me or not, but I committed to giving it a try. For my first go-round, I asked my higher self to help me with what I could do to bring some immediate financial abundance into my life, and heard the word “chocolate” (clearly, I might add). Now - as much as most people’s eyes go all spinny and they scramble to catch their drool over the mention of the word - I have to say that I’m not much of a fan of the stuff (I know… sacrilege!). I thought, “What the (*!) does that even mean?” The only reference that came to mind was of a friend of mine I’d met recently who was part-owner of a make-it-yourself chocolate business. I wondered, “Is my higher self telling me that I’m to sell chocolate?”
I figured that, since I’d come this far, I might as well follow this through at least a little further, so I picked up the phone. It turned out that my friend had just that minute been talking to his (new) flatmate’s mom about a healing that I‘d facilitated, and she had just been saying that she’d been thinking about getting one herself, but had hesitated because she was a little nervous about it. After a few short words on the phone to me, my friend thrust the phone at her - no time for nervous thoughts there! I did a healing on her the next day. I couldn’t believe how quickly acting on the message from my higher self had manifested a result, and that the answer to my request involved doing what I Love and helping someone out in the process!!
I had a few other interesting experiences with this, including these next two: one of the meditations presented me with the word “celery”, the other, “watermelon”. I thought that perhaps I was supposed to look up the symbolism of each or something, but I couldn’t think (operative word, there) of how they related, so I didn’t act on them. After that, it seemed that nothing very interesting was happening, and I let the practice go for a while. A couple of days ago, though, I tried another one. This time, I thought I heard the word “de-os”. For most of you, you’re probably thinking what I was thinking, and what I was thinking led me to thinking that I would for sure not be bothering with these meditations again!
FForward a little… For almost two weeks lately, I’d been feeling grumpy. I so wanted to be able to say that ‘grumpy’ didn’t describe me any more, and it hasn‘t, for years now, but there. it. was. I do realize that it’s a symptom of inner resistance. The way I tried to look at it (and who can do that in the moment anyway?) is that, “If I’m ‘this’ grumpy - it must be something really juicy that I’m about to let go of!”
I pulled some animal medicine cards for guidance. They gave me the message that I was blocked by some early subconscious programming related to money/‘work’ beliefs, and that I needed to teach my inner child to have faith that life could be fun again (no kidding?). Then I asked for a suggestion on my next best option for ‘what to do’, and Raven came up - upside down, that is. Raven is primarily about magic. The card - being contrary - suggested that I’d forgotten the magic of life. To right the medicine, the suggestion was that I journey and ask Raven to help me find the magic again. Raven would help me clear my energetic blocks and teach me the proper way of using energy and grounding it so that I could use it to manifest results effectively.
With gratitude, I opened my circle. As soon as I heard the drum beats, I found myself being flown on the back of a bird really, reaaally fast. Down, down, Down I went, with The Chief at my side, saying something into my ear like, “You’re going so fast, you don’t even know where you’re going, do you?!” We went to the grey-black core of the Earth. I can’t imagine a better place for grounding energy!
Immediately afterward my journey, I happened to open an email that led me to a recording of another webinar put on by the same people who’d offered up the HSM. The theme was “Deliberate Prosperity”. A lot of it was about how to successfully apply law of attraction principles, especially about the value of emotions rather than (un-guided) action as tools to manifesting abundance. A lot of what was expressed really clicked with me; I’ve always been a huge proponent of the essential nature of our emotions as a conveyance for moving us forward on our lifedream’s path. I’d listened and read about law of attraction talks before, but my ears especially perked up for this one. At the outset of their presentation, as Eva and Jeanna gave a brief bio and overview of themselves and their business, they mentioned that their venture became “a [venture] On Steroids” when Eva introduced her non-physical guides into it. When I heard Jeanna say the name of Eva’s guides, I could swear I heard her say “de-os” (although when Eva mentioned it just after that, it was “Theos”).
My head started spinning. If it weren’t for the fact that I was sitting down, I’m sure I would’ve reached out for something to steady myself. I’d asked to be reminded of the magic in my life, and there it was!
I’d love to write more about how blown away I was (and about what happened next), but I’m going out to get some watermelon, if for no other reason than just because my inner children would enjoy it (and maybe even some celery; I think I remember enjoying it with peanut butter when I was a kid)!
Big Medicine Love to You!
~ Black Feather
If you'd like to know more about Eva and Jeanna, visit them at Abundance Abounds, and if you're inspired to sign up for one of their programs, I'd appreciate you mentioning where you heard of them - nothing better than spreading the Love around! Mwuhh!!
(The title and) what follows is a literal transcription/translation of some of the imagery that I continually receive as a visual stream. I subtituted each symbol I was shown with a corresponding reference/description; taken together, they read as a channeling. While I recognize how valuable this particular message is to my own personal healing journey, I’m posting it for the assistance it might provide as concerns your own self-empowerment. For those who are interested, I’ve included a description of the images that I worked from at the end of the post. For help with transcribing your own visuals (be they clairvoyant images, or dream symbolism), I highly recommend Kelly Sullivan-Walden’s book, “I Had The Strangest Dream: The Dreamer’s Dictionary for the 21st Century”
higher wisdom, nobility, beauty, self-esteem, authority, prominence…
the best is yet to come
Christ consciousness directs you to divine will,
to where change, blessings and creative inspiration are coming from,
to the creative element, to going with the flow,
to unconscious wisdom you have yet to understand
are you gasping for (air? water?) feeling out of your element?
you’re being pulled, energetically,
not by what you see in front of you,
not from where it is that you’re looking,
but by the creative energy that weaves life
hidden is your true expansiveness,
your intimate connection to the Void,
a permeable door revealing the mystery
of what you’ve been
protecting(?)… your true self, thoughts and beliefs
because of a preoccupation with looking to the masculine
fall into yourself…
fall into
wealth, gold, riches
rewards for your hard work
fall into the graceful, vulnerable and flowing part of you that
dances with the winds of change
fall into
abundance, money,
being taken care of, protected,
shade from the sun,
cover from the rain,
the outer expression of your inner work,
clarity, vision, insight,
afforded by your connection to the Goddess (within)
assistance is yours for the asking;
tap into your own healing abilities,
your higher guidance,
to the realization that you’re loved, adored,
and always guided
cleanse and heal your negative thoughts or behaviours
bring yourself back into balance
pluck out negative/unsupportive thoughts, energies
let your inner girl child talk to you,
she’s a part of you that you’ve been closed to, covering,
yet you’re intimate with
let her speak with you,
as is her desire
so that you can fulfill your (buried?) desire to be intimate with others
connect with lightness of being,
with the wisdom of a higher view,
connection to a higher source
…to love, overseeing/lifting/raising healing the energy of the earth,
becoming/bringing riches and honour, romance and prosperity,
wealth, feminine beauty, healing power
bringing into being celebration,
happy times,
foretelling success
the dark energies below then seen as merely
a reflecting surface for higher communications
‘Big Words’, ‘running‘,
motivated, exuberant, passionate, excited,
prepared for the challenge/opportunity at hand,
leaving behind feelings of insecurity and inadequacy,
realizing the position, status, self-perception,
life circumstances that you previously imagined as
‘other’s shoes’
there is change in the air, in perspective
towards a balance between masculine and feminine energies,
towards a willingness to help out and do (even more than) your share,
but no longer taking on / carrying the burdens of others
the appearance of these previous exertions now seem silly, comical even
with this newfound balance,
comes intuition, angels, creativity,
the freedom of expressing your True feelings,
harmony with the universe and your soul
when you think of yourself in black and white,
you can‘t see anything for the effort of belting out your song
realize ‘softer’ thoughts
open your eyes
see beneath the surface of your personality,
into your most intimate being-ness, your esoteric knowing
read between the lines of what you’ve come to understand as your ‘self ‘
to access your angelic tools
you are a link to solutions for your brothers and sisters,
for the earth,
breathing the nourishment that is joy and laughter,
through playfulness and healing,
by your link to Great Spirit,
you carry the capacity to see negativity transmuted into joy
this is what holds your vision together
you, as your angelic self,
carrying the outward expression of your femininty,
vulnerability, softness, sensuality
these are the qualities that cleanse, that shine, that polish
the personality that’s been communicated to you
has helped you build,
has taught you,
has facilitated your healing,
(but) now you realize you’re spinning,
and it’s time to reevaluate where you expend your energy
it’s time to move forward
it’s time to reveal the calmness, strength and dignity
that you’ve been stifling,
that you’ve kept yourself from communicating
…time for major healing, transformation, ‘repair’
…healing emotional wounds, mending relationships
…changing how you communicate who/what you are
What follows is a functional description of the images I was channeled
that led to the message above:
crossbow, arched
crown? weathervane on top of/through a fish,
gasping,
splintering?…
…pulled by the energetic strands of a spider
facial hair like an octopus-man; underneath is a dark interior screen door
a reveal
gas mask on a head, with glasses looking to the side (our left, head‘s right)
water drop
corn (with leaves), falling
eyes among the curled-down leaves
angel / spot of light
frog, limbs splayed out (dead) on tweezers?
eyes swirling, buttons, phone - (screw-on) mouthpiece
feather
rose? lifting frog from earth, flame/corona flower opening… peony
champagne bottle, teeth/gums talking
top teeth/gums reflection on shiny dark surface below it
big teeth like shoes, running (different shoes)
(electric) fan
hippo/donkey, with cheeks puffed
bird tweeting
eyes narrowed/closed? ,soft feathers on head - young
black and white stripes across head
tweeting, singing
eye opening slightly, then goggles and big bill, aviator goggles
dolphins across goggles,
holding angel with poofed(?) dress in beak
dress as polisher
figure large/bulk, beaver/wolf head, (animal, healing) cone, two rat-like teeth
spinning
stag with muzzle?/surgical mask
Big Medicine Love to You
~ Black Feather
I had an experience that I would describe as ‘an energy coming in’. In a meditation I had as I sat at a lakeside garden (where there‘s an energetic portal, by the way), I saw a huge dragonfly nymph that was also a frog (at its head), crawling ever so slowly out of the water. I have to admit that I was a little freaked out by it at first. Dragonfly nymphs gave me the ‘heebie jeebies’ as a child - they covered the front (lakeside) of our house every spring. The fact that the image frightened me suggested that it was somehow related to my own power, that it was a(n unrealized) part of my self somehow. Since I believe that we’re not presented with anything we’re not ready for (spiritually, at least), and since it’s what I’d suggest if I was working with someone else (Ha!), I opened myself to its medicine…
Dragonfly nymphs are extremely voracious, and frogs are about cleansing (negative energies in particular). Put together, it suggests an entity that voraciously consumes negative energies for growth and transformation.
I believe that at this time, we’re on the earth plane to transform negative energies. To this point, they’ve helped us to grow (as nymphs, as it were), fed us to accommodate our transformation, even, but now it’s time to be aware of our capacity to utilize Frog’s cleansing medicines to clear up our illusions, to come to know the beauty of our true selves. As is reflected in nature (which is ‘us‘, by the way), this is something natural to us, something we’re built for.
Dragonfly medicine is about illusion (primarily). In this case, the illusion is in our perceptions, telling us that something is ‘ugly’ to begin with, something to be scared of. When is Dragonfly beautiful, and when is it ugly? Is it only beautiful when we see the shimmer of its wings? We are as beautiful as what we are becoming. We are our future selves.
What I describe next is (a condensed version of) how this new energy manifested in my immediate experience (I’d love to hear about yours, by the way)…
Two days after receiving that vision, I was guided to do a distance healing on someone who had a fear of flying. ’Isabelle’ had been offered an outstanding work opportunity, and was considering how/whether she’d cope with going overseas, as would be a requirement of her acceptance. We thought it might be helpful to others to describe her healing experience...
As I began to scan her, for the first time since I started my healing mission, I felt a very ‘cold’ energy. I was a little confused at first (in my experience, the best place to be). I was shown to feel above her heart, and saw a long, golden bug down the middle of her chest (in hindsight, like a really large dragonfly nymph). The coldness increased, and moved down her body. I wondered how many lifetimes ago this (’?’) had manifested for her. Without letting her on to what it was that I was questioning, I said, “I’m going to ask you a question. Tell me what comes first to your mind. How long has this been with you?”
“Nine!” she exclaimed, surprised by her reaction.
“Where are you? How do you feel?”
“I’m really scared! Someone (?) is chasing me.”
“I’m going to tell you that, even though who or what’s chasing you might seem aggressive and maybe more powerful than you, (it’s) chasing you out of its own fear.”
“I’m laying on the ground.”
I told her about an image I was given then… a (fifteen) year old girl, with reddish, matted hair (curiously, more like the thinning hair that an old woman would have), laying facedown on what looked like the outline of dragonfly wings.
I understood that this was a previous incarnation of her self, and that she was experiencing herself as though she’d already passed on (though Isabelle wasn’t necessarily conscious of it).
“Who do you want to come for you? Who do you most want to see?”
“My dad!”
At that moment, ‘The Chief ‘ came in…
“Daughter!… I’m right above you. I know you can see me. I just look like something scary to you… like a bug! Don’t be afraid. You’re just like me… you are me!”
I saw an image of a large dragonfly holding a smaller one underneath its belly…
“You have no idea how fast you are. You have no idea how powerful you are! Let me pick you up and fly with you. You can fly, but you don’t have to. I’ll hold you underneath me as I fly until you’re not scared anymore, and you’re ready to fly on your own. I love you so much! I would wait for you here for ever! Just reach up (to me).”
I could tell that the thought of ‘flying’ had snapped Isabelle back into (the illusion of) her present fears.
“No. I’m scared!”
…
“How about a hop?! A hop isn’t even flying! It’s where you feel the ground, and then you ‘play‘, and then you feel the ground again… Whumpp!!” …?
…
“How about a swim, then? I know how much you love(d) to swim!”
…
…”No.”
…
At this point, I was thinking to myself that, short of fire, there was only one element left. The Chief continued…
“How about digging? We’ll go under the ground! You’re surrounded on all sides there!” …?
…
“(In a little voice) Ok.”
“I’ll race you!” (The Chief likes to go fast.)
…
“Where are you, daughter? I can’t see you down here. All I see is black.”
“I’m in a hole.”
“Huh! …And what do you see when you look up?”
“I see light up there, at the top of the hole.”
“Hmmm… that’s a problem for you, isn’t it? How are you going to… “
“I’m out.”
“Wa-chay! That was fast! How did you get out already?”
“I flew.”
“(Teasingly…) You flew!?… Wa-chayy, you are fast!”
“Where are you now?”
“I’m back on the ground, looking up at the sky; I can see trees at the edges.”
“Will you fly with me now?”
“No. I’m still scared.”
…
“Ask the trees to make a hole for you, like when you were in the ground. They know you’re there. They’ll protect you, make you feel safe. They’ll surround you on all sides. Then you can fly, just like you just did. That’s how easy it is!”
“No.”
As I was scanning her body, I noticed that the cold (spot) was smaller, but still near her heart.
“Who else do you want to see?”
“My sister.”
“Where is your sister?”
“She drowned.”
…
“(Really upset…) I was supposed to be watching her!”
I also felt a cold spot in the left side of Isabelle’s belly. She continued…
“My aunt (/mother?) was really mad.”
[It got a little confusing here, because although she was referring to the drowned girl as ‘sister‘, we were given cues that she’d actually been her cousin to begin with. As her present incarnation, Isabelle was also confused when she talked about her aunt of that life. She couldn’t decide if the woman was ‘aunt’, or ‘mother’. We surmised that perhaps her own mother had died, or that it might’ve been customary in the society she was in at the time to take care of children communally.]
We came to understand that her ‘aunt’ was the one who had been chasing her. She must have caught her at some point, because she was the reason why Isabelle had ended up dead in the forest.
“Why did your sister choose to die that way, by drowning? She chose, you know.“
…
“Your heart knows. Your heart’s powerful enough to tell you that.”
…
“Because she was being beaten.”
…
“Your aunt was trying to blame you because of her own pain, because of her own fears about her pain catching up to her. That‘s why you were being chased. Do you see that? What does your heart say?”
“Yes.”
I’m going to give you some background to help you understand a little of what happened next. My twin-flame, Jenny, had only recently met Isabelle, but for the short time they’d known each other, they’d both been aware of an incredibly strong connection between them. Through the personal healing journey that Jenny and I have experienced together, I (also) know her as a ‘Water-Talker’. She was present for this particular session (she’s an exceptional healer herself), working on Isabelle’s physical body, and offering me confirmations and guiding words when they came to her. As ‘David’, I had a pretty good idea where this was going myself, and then The Chief nudged me…
“Do you want to talk to your sister?”
The Chief continued in a whisper, “Water-Talker, tell your sister what you have to say.”
“I’m ok, sister. I love you. I forgive you…. It’s ok.”
…
“Thank you.”
…
“I want to go swimming now.”
We went to the water (I imagined it was where her sister/cousin had drowned).
The Chief piped in again, “If you see a Beaver, you chase him! Noone swims faster than my Otter Daughter!”
“Slappp!!” The Chief had me clap my hands together loudly, like a Beaver’s tail on the water (trying to make his getaway).
…
“Where are you? You swim sooo fast; I can’t even see you!”
“I’m flying.”
“(Knowingly, teasingly…) You’re flying?”
I could ‘feel’ The Chief winking. I Love his sense of humour.
“I was swimming, but now I’m in the air, flying.”
“Huhh!”
“How about that. ‘Flying’, you say.”
(Again…) “Huhh!”
“And there’s no ground, or trees around you or nothing?”
“I’m just flying.”
“Huhh! Imagine that!”
I asked her to tell me what she saw, now that she was flying. Isabelle described clouds, and then looked down and saw her body on the ground. I asked her how she felt about the young girl she saw lying there. The Chief’s words - as her ‘Father’ - came to us. “With the Love you have for her, you would wait for her forever, wouldn’t you?“ From her new perspective, she realized that it had been her own, angelic self (played out by The Chief) that she’d been afraid of. She understood now that she’d had no need to be scared. Her fear of flying had been a fear of letting go, letting go of guilt, of sorrow, of fear itself. She’d been frightened of becoming the self that she already was (in a different form), herself as her own Dragonfly power. She is Isabelle and ‘sister’, while - in the same instant - she is her Father, and she’s her Mother (Earth), as much as we all are, One.
Namasté
Big Medicine Love to You!
~ Black Feather
Photo Credit:
Aitor Escauriaza
My wife has the power of Lynx medicine, and I’m really glad she does. There’s no point in trying to hide anything from her, because - in effect - I’m just trying to hide it from myself, trying to keep something under insulation. It begs the question, “Who am I trying to snow, anyway?”
Lynx medicine is about knowing people’s secrets, but - Lynx being so silent - not necessarily revealing them. It’s most effective if the person with the secret reveals it themselves. People with Lynx medicine have an uncanny knack for getting people to do just that. Imagine Rabbit under the snow. It’s hidden, it’s ‘secret’, but it hears Lynx coming. It waits and waits, imagining that Lynx will find it. Pretty soon, it can’t take it anymore, and it bolts. The fear of keeping a secret can be far greater than the fear of revealing it.
Jenny came into the room. She’d been guided to ask me, “Where do you want to be?” and “Who do you want to be with?” She said that she wasn’t sure why she was asking those specific questions, but that the word ‘uncertainty’ was connected in some way.
Now, in the last few years at least, I’d been really good at manifesting the big picture, Love, but the day-to-day stuff, not so much. Our conversation included why it was that whenever we were together, our ability to manifest financial abundance went down the tubes. Whenever we spend time physically apart, we manage to have more than enough, but put us together, and we end up exhausting our resources until we’re scrambling to make ends meet. Hmmm…
As we were talking, a vision of a past life that I’d investigated months before came to me. At that moment, Jenny was asking me why I was avoiding her gaze. As much as I tried to come up with any other reason (read: ‘untruth’), her keen instincts were patiently watching for Rabbit (~ fear). She sensed that there was somewhere that I was afraid of going (by the way, the upside of Rabbit medicine is that it’s incredibly ‘productive’). My belly was not comfortable. I was not comfortable. I thought about what I’d normally suggest to someone at this point when they were in a healing session with me: ‘lean into it‘. I started to tell Jenny the story of this particular past life.
My original question/reason for my journey was, in fact, “Why do I have so much trouble manifesting financial abundance?” I thought that I’d resolved everything in it, but - as I mentioned - it seems that I’d resolved it for only half the time, the half when I was not around Jenny. I’d accessed it in a drum journey/meditation. It went something like this:
I asked my guides to take me where I needed to go. Once I’d gotten ‘settled’, I looked down towards my legs. That usually gives me an idea of who I am. I saw that I was walking briskly down a reddish-brown, dirt road. I had my ‘business’ shoes and pants on. I asked myself a question about where I was going, and was presented with, “To kick a poor black family out of their home.” I had the distinct impression that this was not the only family I’d done this to. I was incredulous. I thought, “How could I do such a thing? What would drive me to do such an ugly, heinous thing?”
I was guided to look five years back. My wife had died. I’d loved her intensely. I saw cotton, a mansion, and harvested fields. I’d been the son of a wealthy plantation family. I was the heir; I’d wanted for nothing. My wife (Jenny in this life) had died, but instead of allowing myself to feel the pain of it, I got mean. I exerted my rage on the people who were beholden to me, ‘beneath’ me. The harvest was done, and I was turfing them. I didn’t need them any more. Although it had been a good harvest this particular year, I’d made it so that they were indebted to me financially. I hid behind the fact that I had ‘legal recourse‘, in order to vent my rage.
Just then, I saw an image of an angelic ‘little brown boy’. Even though he and his family were getting kicked out of their home with nothing, his spirit was not diminished. He was an inspiration to everyone around him. Again, I say, ‘angelic‘. Something about the boy awakened me to what I was doing. He was unaffected by my rage; it wasn’t having any affect on him. He even had love for me! As ‘small’ as he was, I realized how truly weak I was in comparison. All my money, all my aggression meant nothing. I felt my pain all at once. I crashed, plummeted. I took my own life. I saw what I’d seen then as I was falling from a cliff towards rocks and frothy water: my wife’s arms, in spirit, reaching out to welcome me.
As I was recounting this to a good friend at the time, he said, “You know, I’ve never told anyone this because it seemed like such a silly thing to say, but since I was young - and especially now that I’m so big (tall) - I’ve always thought, But I’m a little brown boy. What am I doing in this huge, white body?” I was stunned. I just stared at him. As is his way, he immediately added, “ I forgive you!” (Is it any wonder why I Love that man as much as I do?)
It seemed pretty obvious, then, why it was that I would have kept myself from having money in this life. I didn’t trust myself not to abuse it. And I thought that - with my friend’s forgiveness and the other work I’d done on myself since - it’d been resolved. I know myself much better now. I’ve come here to love, and I’m well able to express that when I have money. But as I said, I’ve only been able to manifest it when Jenny and I have not been together (at one point, we’d lived separately for six months until I made/saved enough to join her).
Jenny asked me what I was feeling. I had to admit to myself that there was something to the fact that I couldn’t look at her as I spoke. I hesitated for the longest time, but finally said, “I’m mad at you, but I don’t understand why.“ Anger represents other emotions that have been pushed down (‘under the snow‘). Thankfully, Jenny knows just how far to push me. She replied to me with, “You’re mad at me because I left you.“ I tried to tell her that I thought that was ridiculous. Then she asked me to look into her beautiful green eyes, and she just sat watching me, silently, patiently… and then, Rabbit bolted. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I exclaimed, “When I have money, Love goes away! YOU go AWAY! I don’t want you to leave me again!”
I thought, “Where did that come from? I don’t even know what that means.” When I could manage it, we loosed our embrace and talked it over.
I’d been able to forgive myself for how I’d hurt the families and the boy I’d tried to vent on. I hadn’t forgiven (Jenny) for leaving me, and I’d associated us being together and having money as leading to not only her eventual absence (and my misery), but the appearance of a side of myself I couldn‘t stomach, and eventually, my own death. It didn’t matter that I had an awareness that, in spirit, we plan the lessons/experiences we need for ourselves; I’d still held the emotional reality of my experience in the physical memory of my body.
I have my emotions to thank for getting me here. I have the shadow of Rabbit (awareness of my fears) to thank for getting me here. And I have my beautiful, green-eyed, Lynx-medicine twin flame to thank for getting me here.
Big Medicine Love to You
~ Black Feather
I am not your teacher. Your heart called me here to remind you that you are your teacher.
My wife and I had Easter dinner at the home of friends. After dinner, we played a card game called ‘Asshole’ (I know - charming). The person who gets rid of all their cards first is ‘the President’ (…and you can guess how the rest of that goes). The Asshole (and I’m capitolizing that for a reason) gives up their two best cards to the President at the start of the next round of play, and the President gives you their two worst. As you can imagine, starting off with that kind of a handicap makes it difficult to get out of being the Asshole once you’re there. We decided to put another caveat into our gameplay: if someone were to be the Asshole three times, consecutively, it was up to whoever was the President on that third game to come up with a consequence for them. Our hostess lost three times, and my wife was the President.
The consequence that my wife handed out was for our hostess to count backwards from thirty in Spanish, which she did. I made a comment that I (somehow) thought would be funny, saying, “That’s not very ‘humiliating‘! …?”
To give some pretext here, previous to this, I’d prided(*) myself on the fact that I didn’t care whether I won or lost in games, as long as everyone was having a good time. I didn’t care to compare or measure people up. This was my way of laughing at what I saw as the ‘ugly’ side of masculine competition.
All of a sudden, things were not as funny as I thought they were. You didn’t have to be a sensitive/psychic to realize that the energy in the room had changed. Our friend, Linda, in her curious, anthropological way, took me to task; she looked fixedly at me and asked, “Why would you want to humiliate someone?” I flushed. I tried to brush her attentions off, looked the other way, but I could tell she was still looking directly at me. She asked again, “No… Why would you want to humiliate someone?” In hindsight, the beautiful part was, she wasn’t asking me in any way aggressively - she was simply asking me a question that needed to be answered.
At his point, I was asking myself how I’d gotten into a position that had me flushed like I hadn’t been since childhood. Still though, my ego held fast. I even tried to put the onus on her, suggesting that there was something untrusting or unknowing about her that she would even ask me that question. After all, who of those that knew me would believe that I wasn’t the most upstanding character they’d ever met, right? Spirit was giving me a lesson in Peacock medicine. The only colour I was displaying was crimson - not exactly the divine rainbow!
That night, I had a dream that pretty much levelled me. And by ‘levelled’, I mean ‘bottomed out’. I was going down a freshly-ploughed icy winter road, headed to the relative safety of my parent’s home for the winter… heading back to the nest with the feeling that I’d failed in life. There were other people headed in the opposite direction (the direction from which I had just come), excitedly talking about what was to come for them, but I was feeling exactly the opposite (even though we were both walking in the same sunshine, curiously enough). The life that I loved was gone. I had nothing - no loving friends with me, no loving wife, prospects exhausted, nothing but the slightest, slightest bit of hope that during the long, cold, isolated, dreary winter and drudgery before me, I’d be able to formulate a plan to start fresh once spring finally came around again.
As I awoke, I still felt that the dream was my reality. My mood certainly seemed to indicate it. As if it weren’t bad enough, I was piling stuff on top of it, including anxieties about money and ‘getting ahead’. On top of that, I’d pulled the card ‘Bat’ the day before, which is about the shaman’s death and rebirth, a prophecy I usually looked forward to with hopeful enthusiasm/excitement. I didn’t feel as though I’d experienced a re-birth in any sense of the word the day before, and it was already the next day! At that moment, I gave up on thinking that I would. All of a sudden, I was failing my gifted abilities as well! Oh yes, there I went; down, down, down. Just when I didn’t think I could get any lower!
I’d had a tarot reading once in which the reader had interpreted my mission in life - what I’d come into my present incarnation to learn and do this time around - as ‘disappointment’. Although she was trying to distract from it, or perhaps gloss it up somehow, she was as obviously uncomfortable with relaying the information to me as I was with hearing it. Afterwards, I looked for and found all kinds of other interpretations for the card, but - you know how the human mind works - the word “Disappointment!” followed me, haunted me. This morning was the loudest I’d ever heard it. It wasn’t just my own inner chatter, it was my guides trying to impress it upon me as well (in hindsight, to ensure that I‘d look at it). Saying that I was feeling at a loss at this point would be a major understatement.
And then I had a vision that seemed to go totally contrary to how I was feeling. I saw medals being placed upon dark, armless mannequin busts. They reminded me of Olympic medals, except that their straps were of bright rainbow colours. The pendants were gold eagles with wings open and heads that were (also) chicken heads, bowed. It seemed to be suggesting that there were rewards to be had for those who look at what it is they’re most afraid to look at; it’ll afford a higher perspective, a connection to Spirit.
I’d been the President for most of the game. After feeling humiliated though, my inner child was being pouty and trying to encourage me to not participate. I still won. Then I thought about trying to win, and I started losing. It brought to mind that whenever I use masculine (attributes) and try to be ‘first’ (in cards, in life), I always seem to lose.
I thought about my ‘disappointment’ lesson (/prophecy?).
I realised that, with my ‘humiliation’ lesson, I hadn’t wanted to let go of my status/reputation/ego.
I heard (myself ?) saying, “Be the Asshole.”
…What…?
…Be the Asshole.
…?
I thought about something I’d posted a week ago, about how important all the other cards were in the game of spider solitaire; without the other cards, all you have are the four kings pulling themselves. The ace especially… nothing happens without the Ace.
…Be the Asshole… Be the Ace… Be last!… Be Last!! BE LAST!!!
I’m an incredible manifester, yet a year earlier, I’d been picking bottles and cans off the beach for food money. And now, thanks to my sense of grace and timing (Ha!), my social reputation had taken a (brief, but) serious beat-down as well. It didn’t make sense to me how/why I‘d manifest such a thing for myself. I knew with all my heart that I‘d done it on purpose. Now I realized, that I (my higher self) had been trying to give myself a lesson in being last. It wasn’t a lesson in ‘not having’; it was a lesson in not ‘wanting’! I needed to learn to let go of my ego attachments to things …be last. I had to let go of wanting, and exploring ‘disappointment’ was pivotal - the ‘not wanting’ was key, and the ‘not having’ got me there!
The surroundings I’ve manifested, the scenario I incarnated into,… All of a sudden, I understood why some people/religions bless everything they see. I pictured someone blessing the ramp up to the plane, the plane itself, the steward/ess, the slightly obnoxious guy sitting next to them, etc as Divine. I thanked my surroundings - the surroundings I manifested - for affording me these lessons. I got down on the floor and wept/sobbed!
As I was there, I thought, “I am My creation.” For a second, I half-expected that, were I to look up, I’d see a visage of Christ. I was feeling so utterly humbled that I thought, “I won’t be able to look into his eyes.” Then I realised, I wouldn’t see His face. His ‘face’ is not outside of my self (yet it is everywhere).
For me, this is my lesson this time around. I’m not saying it’s everyone’s.
‘Thanks for nothing’ takes on a whole new meaning.
My imagination led me to consider what happened to others who went the path of loving humanity. I could be persecuted. I could feel the suffering of all of humanity. I could even be put to death. But I will get to Love, and I’ll get to go home again. We play it out, over and over again, and yet again, until everyone can go home.
I’m by no means perfect. I figure that if I was, I wouldn’t be on the earth plane still. Ha! We don’t come here for ‘perfect’. I’m more like a diving beetle that propels itself forward with jerky fits-and-starts movements than a graceful swimmer. But life is so much easier now, with this reminder of why I came. I didn’t come here for the struggles of being first. That desire starts from fear, a fear of not having enough, a fear of not being enough. Our capacity for Love is what makes us ‘enough’.
Ahhhh… much better. I can see blue, and yellow, and green and…
I think my tail’s growing back.
Big Medicine Love to You
~ Black Feather
Dog medicine usually comes up as a reference to loyalty. Care workers often carry Dog medicine, as do philanthropists, spiritual gurus, and soldiers. On the one hand, it can represent compassionate service to mankind, but on the flipside, it can symbolize being loyal to a person or cause out of a need for approval, or a fear for your own safety. The best way to right contrary Dog is to be your own best friend. In [Jeshua’s] case, it involved a ‘belly rub‘…
I was guided to work with energy emanating from Jeshua’s heart on his right side. The location suggested that he’d had experiences related to masculine love that he was ready to clear. After the energy that manifested the original (injury) had funnelled out, I placed my hand into the stream that remained to take a look. At a short distance from his physical body (indicating a relatively recent past life), I saw berries. They looked like Blueberries or Saskatoons, and they were swelling as though about to burst. I knew that its relevance would be eventually be made clear, but I couldn’t help but wonder (aloud), “What could that possibly mean?”
After being given that initial image, I saw nothing, and the energy stream dissipated somewhat. This suggested that it was up to Jeshua to see his own answers, so I guided him through a regression...
He saw himself as a medieval soldier. Apparently, he’d seen glimpses of this past life before, but hadn’t had the awareness that would enable him to resolve any of the issues that might have arisen here. There was a lot of information associated with battles. He spoke a little about fighting for Justice, but also about losing clarity in that regard.
I was guided to ask him about his father, to get Jeshua to look into the time when was a little boy in that life. He told me a little about abuse that the boy had suffered by his father’s hand. Then, I saw an image of a very large hand offering a small sword. For the fact that the hand seemed large to the point of being obese, I interpreted it as being that of a man who was covering up his own pain. He was passing on a symbol of what he had taken up to protect his own self from the hurts that he’d experienced himself. Symbolically, this was the point at which the boy that was Jeshua’s previous incarnation took the sword that he was passed.
I explained to Jeshua my take on why - as males - we take up this ‘cause’. If we’re physically threatened/oppressed in our boyhoods, we can automatically associate our oppressors as having strength (that’s greater than our own). Our unconscious internal dialogue can go something like this: “This man that I’m looking to for care and protection (~ for love) is hurting me. He’s much stronger than I am, and I don’t feel safe. He has greater power than I do. If I want to feel safe, I need to have power. His is the kind of strength that I should align with.” As strange as it may seem, on a certain level, it’s actually a loving act on the part of the adult man… “This is what I’ve used to (try to) protect myself, and now I’m passing it on to you.”
I asked Jeshua to get the young boy’s attention. He said that the boy was angry, and that he was flailing a sword around. I was nudged to tell Jeshua that his presence looked imposing to the boy. Perhaps if he were to kneel down so that he would be more at the boy’s level, he might not appear as threatening. That calmed the boy somewhat, but he still wasn’t coming any closer. I asked Jeshua to consider offering him something. “What does he like?“ I asked. My guides chimed in, “You know what he likes!“ Jeshua searched his thoughts for a while. Seeing that he was at a bit of a loss, they continued, “You pull some berries out of your pocket for him! You see what he thinks then!” The boy immediately brightened. I asked Jeshua what he was doing with the sword. He said, “There is no sword.”
I let him know that, now that they were reunited, this little boy would teach him a lot. Jeshua was ready to come into awareness of his True Dog medicine, to own as his own what was natural to him.
I went to the fridge, and served up a couple bowls of Blueberries and yoghurt (thinking on it now, I find it interesting that yoghurt is something that you‘d think of has having been rotted, yet is nourishing).
As I mentioned, upright Dog medicine has to do with being your own best friend. Being compassionate towards your natural, loving self will empower you to be of compassionate service to others. Feeding yourself what you love (in this case, ‘filling your puppy’s exposed tummy with yummy berries‘), will free you, and provide for you to be able to free and feed others in turn.
A soldier doesn’t fear the enemy outside; he/she fears what they perceive as being the enemy within. Physical prowess is irrelevant if one is too afraid to befriend their own vulnerability. True power comes from realizing and facing what it is that you’re actually afraid of. Love is your own power.
All the Power to you, my True Dog friend.
I was having a bit of trouble getting started with how to write this, so I quieted my mind and asked my guides for help. I heard, “No one said that this was going to be easy”. Not exactly the help I was looking for, but I do love that they have sense of humour!
During some of the healings that I’ve been privileged enough to participate in, I’ve helped clients to release energies associated with past lives where a part of them was still stuck in a specific scenario/location, as what we’d describe as a ‘ghost’ might be. Let me give you one example…
I was working with an energy coming from [Rachel’s] hip. The location on her body was symbolic of something that was preventing her from moving forward in life, a weight that she was carrying. After the ‘old’ energy associated with whatever manifested the imbalance had streamed out, I focused my attention on an area within the energetic cord that remained to see what information might come forth.
I saw images of an upholstered chair from the 18th (or early 19th) century in a very opulent room, and sensed Rachel as having been an older woman in that life. As I guided her through a vision quest, Rachel described that (she / the woman) moved there as part of the agreement of an arranged marriage. The woman was not at all happy there, having been moved away from her family to somewhere that she felt totally alone and unloved. For the sake of her family, she’d been keeping herself trapped there, even after death, forsaking her own happiness for the sake of marital convention.
I was guided to try a couple of things to help the woman move on, but she wouldn’t abandon what she saw as her responsibility. It wasn’t until she was asked whom it was that she wanted to see that she would follow our pleadings and look up towards the light… “Mother!“ Other members of her soul group had been above her since she’d passed, trying as they might to get her attention. Now, with the realization that her daughter was finally able to see her outstretched arms, her mother’s faced beamed.
Immediately after the woman ascended, Rachel excitedly exclaimed she physically felt that a weight had lifted off. As I was prompted, I channelled energy back into the area that I‘d been working with.
Rachel excitedly told me that, since her healing, she’s started seeing spirit again. She’s much happier, and far more energetic. I consider that she’s become more of her whole/natural self, that she’s opened up to more of her intrinsic abilities.
It would seem that it’s because the woman ‘left’ that Rachel feels lighter, but my understanding is that, because the woman returned to her soul group (of which Rachel is obviously a part), more of the parts that make Rachel‘s soul complete are available in spirit to empower her.
As these energies I encounter when I work on people appear to be previous incarnations of themselves, stuck in another time, in a specific place, I considered how likely it was that they’re what we typically refer to as ghosts. With thoughts of Rachel’s healing fresh in my mind (and one more request to join a ghost hunt on Facebook), I started to consider what might happen if we/I were to work from ‘the other end’… ? The understanding that I’ve come to is that a ‘ghost’ can be a split off energy that a(n earth) soul requires for its evolution, to help it return to its natural state of completion. Through the process of helping a (trapped) spirit ascend, does a person in a present incarnation somewhere suddenly feel lighter, suddenly come into more of their natural abilities? The shift is coming, after all. I think I’ll do some of my own ‘paranormal’ investigating.
~ David J. Nagy (aka Black Feather)
