“As a result of my early challenges, I’d held a deep
belief that there was something intrinsically wrong with me, and that I didn’t deserve love. I developed
overprotective personal boundaries, and (no surprise here) struggled with
relationships for many years. In my mid-twenties, I caught a break (in hindsight,
that is, because - as you can imagine - I definitely didn’t see it that
way at the time): I recognize the death of my first daughter (when she was just
ten days old) as the event that started to break my heart open, so that I could
begin my long journey of healing. The loving persistence of my tirelessly
affectionate second daughter started me realizing that I was very wrong
about the ‘not
deserving’ part.”
He had a couple of saving graces. As a respite from the emotional
turmoil he felt, he’d often retreat
into nature. It gave him a great appreciation for the energies of the natural
world. He also developed creatively, as an artist. While the motivation was to
close off from the outer circumstances of his life and go within, these
influences were - paradoxically - the beginnings of a path of expansiveness and
connectedness.
Among occupations he held, (as Divine providence would
have it) he happened upon a job as a tour guide. He’d take people (oftentimes, claustrophobic
people) into amazing limestone caves, coaching them past their anxieties
through the mysterious, dark and constricted - and incredibly beautiful -
spaces. Having faced their fears, they’d emerge euphoric and empowered! Through these
experiences, he realized he had a talent -
and a Love - for helping other people overcome their challenges
and realize innate, hidden strengths and abilities they weren’t even aware they possessed.
Ironically, helping others in this way helped him to help himself.
He experienced a major catharsis about six years ago,
during a year that saw the end of both a long relationship and a business…
“Not feeling that I could trust my self, I’d searched out someone whom I
could saddle with the responsibility of making all my decisions for me
(and that‘s what I got). But then, I found myself entertaining thoughts of ’checking
out’ and our business was failing miserably. I’d gotten to the point where
there was no other option but change - in my case, drastic change. I
thought, ’If this is where living someone else’s life, having someone
else navigating, has gotten me (suicidal, bankrupt), I must be able to
do better!’ In a way, it was easy for me; I had nothing more to lose! Ha! I
decided to have a go at not denying who I was.”
He opened himself up to the images again, and life
hasn’t been the same since.
“My artistic abilities started to combine with an increase in my
intuitive skills. I found himself doing clairvoyant portraits of people, just
from listening to the sound of their voices (reading something as innocuous as
the back of a cereal box). All kinds of images would appear, as if by magic,
that demonstrated psychic awareness of the subjects whose lives I’d illustrate. My first portrait was of the woman who I
now know as my twin-flame. Figures that ‘showed up’ in a drawing I did for her early in our relationship
were symbolic of parts of her life and relationships about which (I had to
admit to myself) I had no previous knowledge.”
An ongoing interest in dreams and dream symbolism
aided the interpretation of the portraits. Spurred by spiritual promptings that
he received through his own healing journey, coupled with his early love for
the natural world, he developed a focused interest in animal symbolism and the
ancient, empowering and healing wisdom that their medicines communicate. He
found myself applying that knowledge and his developing psychic abilities
outside of the portrait work, providing clarity to others who’d come to him for
assistance.
Why 'Black Feather'?
I came to know myself as Black Feather through a combination of my own personal healing experiences, part of which included a series of soul retrievals.
For those of you who might not be familiar with soul retrieval, here’s a short description…
When you undergo something traumatic enough in your life (either physically or emotionally) such that your soul feels as though it might not be safe to remain in your body, it'll send off parts of itself for safe-keeping. If you're in a serious car accident, for example, and it appears to your soul that you might not survive the trauma, off a piece goes! Soul retrieval is the process you go through to get those pieces back so that you can be whole again. It can be a little unsettling at first, but trust me, once you've retrieved one, you can’t wait to go looking for the rest!
Besides the young boys I retrieved that I‘d left behind as a result of difficult experiences in my early years in this present life another of the soul aspects I found and reclaimed was from a previous incarnation of mine as a young native girl whose 'Moose-medicine' father was murdered while she was playing "Chase" with him (see: "Becoming Black Feather”). I recollect that as that young girl, my name had been Black Swan. So in part, the name Black Feather comes from there.
Although initially the separations were borne of difficult experiences, reconnecting with these lost elements of my self helped me to regain my trust in life. With their re-integration, I was able to rebalance the masculine and feminine aspects of my nature. Consequently, it facilitated a restoration of the related feminine attributes connected to intuitive/psychic abilities that I’d ‘left behind’ until such time as I could fully appreciate them and utilize them with integrity. The increased insight and wisdom I gained through the process of journeying for them and releasing the toxic energies associated with their initial separations not only allowed for the healing of my present self, it now enables me to be of loving, compassionate service to others.
I went to places I feared going, into my mysterious shadows. I had my fears (I Definitely had my fears!). I was afraid that I’d have to re-visit and re-experience pains I’d known all over again: my childhood hurts, for instance, feelings of being unloved and unloveable, and hurt I felt at the death of my daughter. I’d even worried that I’d be introduced to lots of new ones! Ha!
What I found instead was lightness of being, a higher view, a higher source… unconditional love, support, power and wisdom, and my own capacity for all of those things. Through extending what I'd learned from this healing journey, I realized that Spirit has blessed me with a talent for opening others up to the miraculous gifts that they hold within themselves, in a way that brings Lightness to what they fear they might find in their own shadows, their 'Black'; that lightness represented by the image of a Divine 'Feather'. From there, it all came together for me.
Having joyously accepted my healing mission as Black Feather, I’m here to offer You the benefits of my experience, knowledge and abilities to guide you in accessing for yourself these things and more, the gifts that are the birthright of your own divine self!
'Especially for those who feel they’re wanting to grow, but anxious about what they’ll find, Black Feather’s compassion, inspired insight and humour helps you to reveal the gifts hidden by your blockages and fears. He serves as Loving companion to the birth of your sacred self, your personal power. Overcome limiting beliefs, life circumstances and dis-ease as you’re hand-held through the wisdom and experiences of past lives, soul retrieval, dreamwork, animal medicine and energetic healing.'
If you’re seeing darkness and shadows in your present lifedream, allow me to reflect for you the beauty of your own hidden, inner warrior, and the Love of the other souls with you on your journey. What comes out of the dark is - inevitably - not what you fear, not a nightmare, more like a surprise birthday - not monsters, but a lit candle (and cake, and presents)! You will find that you’re infinitely more powerful than anything that frightens you! Under the protection of Love, know healing, peace, joy, enchantment, and personal empowerment.
~ Black Feather
